Child sexual abuse can include any kind of physical (e.g. touching) and non-physical activity (e.g. exposing them to pornographic material). Sexual abuse is perpetrated by adults against minors below the age of consent, but also by children against children. It can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, age, nationality, sexual orientation or socio-economic background. In Cyprus, the age of consent for sexual intercourse is 17.

Any sexual relationship between an adult and a minor under the age of consent is a criminal offence, unless the age difference is less than 3 years. For example, sexual activities/relationships between a 15-year-old and an 18-year-old or a 16-year-old and a 19-year-old are permitted, provided they are not the result of abuse, violence, exploitation or coercion.

In the case of minors engaged in sexual activities, i.e. under the age of 18 and under the age of consent, i.e. 17, their acts are exempt from the law and are not considered a criminal offence, provided they are over 13 years old and the difference between them does not exceed three years. It is understood that for these relationships to be considered as exempt, the children must be of similar age and similar degree of psychological and physical development or maturity and their activities must not involve any abuse, violence, exploitation or coercion.

The Republic of Cyprus introduced the Law on the Prevention and Combatting of Sexual Abuse and Exploitation of Children and Child Pornography, 91(I)/2014:

A person is held criminally liable if he or she coerces or causes a child to:

• Participate in sexual activities.
• Perform a sexual act with a third person.
• Witness sexual activities or photographs.
• Participate in pornographic activities (live or online).
• Participate in child prostitution.

A person is also considered criminally liable if he or she:

• Obtains / has access to / distributes, disseminates or transmits / possesses child pornography material or provides information on how to obtain such material.
• Watches child pornography performances live or by other means.
• Fails to report to the competent authorities a case of sexual abuse of a child that comes to his or her attention.

An act can be considered sexual abuse even if it does not involve an act of penetration, violence, pain or even touching. Child sexual abuse can involve both physical and non-physical activity.

A) Some examples of physical activity (touching) include:

• Touching the child's genitals and/or other private parts.
• Forcing a child to touch the genitals of another person, adult or minor.                                                                   
• Forcing a child to play sex games or have sexual intercourse by putting objects or body parts (such as fingers, tongue or penis) into the child's vagina, mouth or anus for the sexual enjoyment of the abuser.
• Forcing the child to participate in the production of pornographic material using photographs and/or videos

B) Some examples of non-physical activity (no touching) include:

• Exposure of the child to pornographic material.
• Intentional exposure of an adult's genitals to a child.
• Taking photos of a child in sexual positions.
• Encouraging or coercing the child to watch or listen to sexual acts.
• Watching, in an inappropriate way, a child undressing or bathing.
• There is also the serious and growing problem of people producing and downloading child pornography material on the internet with sexual depictions of children (photos and/or videos). Anyone who watches images of child abuse is considered to take part in the child’s abuse.
• Pressure on the child to engage in sexual activities
• Encouraging the child to watch sexual activities.
• Pressure on the child to do a nude photo shoot.

Sexual abuse and intimidating behaviors often occur in chatrooms and social media.

Sexual abuse or exploitation of a minor via the internet or even a mobile phone can include all of the following, when accompanied by sexual content or innuendo:

• 1) Making fun of the minor in a chatroom,
• 2) Receiving obscene, intimidating and offensive messages,
• 3) Receiving obscene/insulting content during chats,
• 4) Making fun of the minor by a person who has created a fake profile and uses it as a means to humiliate him or her,
• 5) The disclosure of personal data without the minor's permission,
• 6) The exclusion of the minor from a group or online activity.

Perpetrators, who may themselves have been victims of bullying or abuse, may harbour feelings of jealousy and revenge towards their victim, find it difficult to express their feelings in a healthy way and generally seek to exploit the minor. They may also maintain various online accounts.

The internet can also be a channel of communication between the perpetrator and the victim.

Unfortunately, the risk of online “grooming” is also on the rise. Grooming refers to an adult person’s attempt to establish a trusting relationship with a child, with the primary aim of arranging to meet or engaging in a sexual act or producing child pornography material or sexually exploiting the child.

Sometimes, perpetrators use a fake identity, pretending to be children themselves in order to gain the child's trust, or they may maintain their identity while pretending to share similar interests with the child.

This is usually achieved by showing interest in the child and treating them in a privileged way. Here are some examples:

• Flattering and offering opportunities for modelling jobs, especially to young girls
• Promises to meet celebrities and offering gifts
• Showing attention or sympathy when the child discusses their problems
• Providing support in various issues concerning the child’s relationships with others.

The online grooming of minors includes the following:

• a) Showing pornographic material to the minor (in some cases the online grooming of minors can lead to live sexual abuse).
• b) Attempting to change the subject of discussion to pornographic content.
• c) An adult person’s attempt to obtain personal photographs of the minor.

Perpetrators start conversations with potential victims with the aim of developing a relationship of trust and obtaining as much information as possible about where they live, their interests, hobbies and sexual experiences. Conversations can last for days, weeks, even months, until the perpetrator gains the child's trust.

A child can be exploited online without a face-to-face meeting or physical contact. For example, the perpetrator may ask the victim to send naked photos or perform sexual acts in front of an online camera and send the images to others. Once he or she has gained the child's trust online, the perpetrator might propose that they meet in person.

Perpetrators may also resort to threats if the child does not respond to their requests or stops responding after some information has been obtained.

Potential signs of online child victimisation

Whatever the form of child seduction, many young victims feel responsible and guilty for what happened and find it difficult to seek help. In some cases, they may not even realise that what is happening constitutes abuse and may think that they are actually in a relationship with the perpetrator, as they have come to feel “close” to and trust them.

Potential signs that a minor is a victim of online abuse or online grooming include the following:

• Changes in behavior (frequent mood swings, less tolerant to advice/recommendations, arrogance or reduced self-confidence).
• Spending a lot of time on the internet.
• Asking to be alone when accessing the internet.
• Hastily changing to a different web page when someone is approaching.
• Not confiding/discussing/sharing things from their daily life.
• Apathetic to what is happening around them.
• Drop in school performance.
• Difficulty sleeping.
• Decreased appetite or motivation for activities.

When taken individually, these signs do not imply that a child is being sexually abused, but the simultaneous presence of several signs should make us reflect on potential problems or difficulties that the child may be experiencing and consider seeking help.

Any sudden or abrupt changes in the child's behavior could be a sign requiring your attention. This is not necessarily or exclusively an indication of sexual abuse, but a sign that something is happening to which you need to respond.

Examples of behavior changes/indications:

• The child is overly sensitive or cries in an unusual way when you leave them.
• Difficulty sleeping, does not want to go to bed, has nightmares, fear of the dark.
• Eating disorders, changes in eating habits (eating too slowly or too fast).
• Regresses to previous immature behaviors (finger sucking, bed wetting).
• Problems at school: discipline issues, poor concentration, changes in performance.
• Excessive fear of a particular person or place.
• Wants to be alone.
• Sudden and unexplained mood changes.
• Difficulty to focus, loss of interest and decreased participation in activities that used to interest and make them happy.
• Becomes unusually secretive.
• Mentioning a new, older friend.
• Unexplained money or gifts.
• Avoids your questions or changes the subject or has memory loss.
• May show signs of escapism.
• Does not want to be left alone with one particular child or young person.
• A child who may be, or has been, sexually abused may adopt adult behaviors in terms of sexual conduct towards both peers and adults.

Examples of inappropriate sexual behaviors:

• Acts in an inappropriate sexual manner towards toys or objects.
• Seeks sexual stimulation. Excessive touching or masturbation in public.
• Uses vocabulary that is not age-appropriate.
• Suddenly starts using new words commonly used by adults to refer to body parts.
• Initiates inappropriate sexual advances towards other children.
• Encourages other children to participate in sexual acts and generally behaves in a sexually seductive way.
• Places things in their own vulva/vagina or anus.
• Is sexually aggressive and/or victimizes peers or younger children.
• Shows unusual interest in or avoids sexual ideas and material.
• There may also be physical signs that your child is being sexually abused. These are usually rare and it is important to always obtain a medical opinion.

Examples of physical signs:

• Discomfort, pain, bleeding, marks, bruising around the genitals, anus or mouth.
• Changes in color, itching, discharge, smell in genitals.
• Persistent or recurrent pain when urinating and/or defecating.
• Recurrent urinary tract infections.
• Wetting accidents not related to toilet training.
• Sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy.
• General health complaints, chronic headache, stomach pains, throat pains.

When taken individually, these signs do not imply that a child is being sexually abused, but the simultaneous presence of several of them must make you reflect on potential problems or difficulties that the child may be experiencing.

Sexual abuse may occur in behaviors between minors. Children, especially younger ones, may engage in inappropriate interactions without an understanding of their harmful impact on others. It is therefore more useful to talk about a child's sexually “harmful” behavior, rather than sexually “abusive” behavior. The term sexually “harmful” behavior is used in cases of young children who may engage in inappropriate interactions without an understanding of their harmful impact on others.

The reasons why children behave in a sexual way towards other children or even sexually harm other children are often varied, complex and most often not obvious. In some cases, these reasons are likely to be linked to emotional factors which the child may be experiencing and not be able to effectively manage. Moreover, some children may have witnessed physical or emotional violence or may have been exposed to sexually explicit computer games or films that are confusing to them. Whatever the reasons, we should keep in mind that a child who sexually abuses another child needs the same support and guidance as the victim.

Finding out that their child may have been sexually abused by another child or is engaging in sexually harmful behavior with another child is one of the hardest experiences for a parent. Denial, anger and shock are normal reactions. But if you don’t respond quickly and in a sensitive way, the outcome can be devastating for the whole family.

So if you suspect that something is wrong, it is vital that you seek advice on what to do as soon as possible.

Click on “Ask for Help” on this website. You will be immediately connected, either by phone or chat, to professionals who can help you. You can also do this anonymously if you wish.

Providing immediate assistance to the child or young person and their family can really make a difference. Evidence shows that the earlier children get help, the more likely we are to prevent them from engaging in unacceptable behavior and the more able they become to cultivate the skills necessary to control their behavior.

If your child, or another child, discloses abuse to you, it is important to listen carefully and control your reactions. Don't correct the language they are using, let the child describe freely what happened.

It is very important not to get angry with them. Remember that they did nothing wrong. DON’T interrogate your child and don’t ask them what happened, when and with whom. Instead, take away the guilt and reassure them (“You’re not to blame for what happened / It's not your fault”).

Believe the child and pay particular attention to them. Even if something sounds strange, even if some of the things they are saying are not true, it is important to show that you believe them, so that they can continue telling their story. What they are revealing is very important to them, even if it is not an incident of sexual abuse. You should therefore dedicate all the time they need to express themselves.

Young children have little or no perception of time and perceive terminology and phrases differently. Encourage them to express themselves in their own words, while you also use simple and understandable language.

Listen carefully!

• It is important to stay neutral, as the child has a special relationship with the perpetrator and may be afraid to speak out, so as not to put him or her in danger. Avoid any phrases that might make the child think you are being critical (e.g., “Why didn't you say no?”, “Why didn't you speak out sooner?”, “Why did you accept his gift?” etc.).
• Try as best as you can to put yourself in the child's shoes, bearing in mind their stage of development. This will allow you to understand any limitations they may have and respond accordingly.
• Listen to the child and talk as little as possible. When you do choose to talk, express yourself in a supportive and reassuring way, rather than asking questions.
• Try to listen, without making any assumptions on whether or not abuse has taken place, so as not to subject the child to your own thoughts.
• Ask specific questions, and only if necessary, to help the child talk (e.g. “Did he or she touch you in a place you didn't like/that is forbidden or that made you feel uncomfortable?”, “Did someone ask you to keep a secret?”).
• If the child becomes emotionally overwhelmed, give them time and let them continue when they are ready.

Praise your child for speaking out, for the courage it took to tell you what is happening to them and show them love and care. It is important for a child to feel that an adult believes them. Reassure them that reporting the incident was the right thing to do.

Try not to show that you are upset in front of them, as children can easily feel guilty. Don't jump to conclusions based on very little or vague information and reassure your child that you will do something about it.

Avoid making promises you cannot keep (e.g. “I will not tell anyone”, “you will never see the abuser again”, etc.) and report the incident immediately to the nearest Police Station.

If you need further guidance on how to support your child, click on “Ask for Help” on this website. You will be immediately connected, either by phone or chat, to professionals who can help you. You can also do this anonymously if you wish.

It is important to know that failure to report child sexual abuse to the competent authorities by a person holding such information is a criminal offence, punishable by up to 15 years of imprisonment. Therefore, if you believe that a child is being sexually abused, you must immediately report the incident to the competent State authorities.

If your child, or another child, discloses abuse to you, it is important to listen carefully and control your reactions. Don't correct the language they are using, let the child describe freely what happened.

Believe the child and pay particular attention to them. Even if something sounds strange.

It is important to stay neutral, as the child has a special relationship with the perpetrator and may be afraid to speak out, so as not to put him or her in danger.

Avoid any phrases that might make the child think you are being critical (e.g., “Why didn't you say no?”, “Why didn't you speak out sooner?”, “Why did you accept his gift?” etc.).

Try as best as you can to put yourself in the child's shoes, bearing in mind their stage of development. This will allow you to respond accordingly.

Listen to the child and talk as little as possible. When you do choose to talk, express yourself in a supportive and reassuring way, rather than asking questions.

Don’t make any assumptions on whether or not abuse has taken place, so as not to subject the child to your own thoughts.

Ask specific questions, and only if necessary, to help the child talk (e.g. “Did he or she touch you in a place you didn't like/that is forbidden or that made you feel uncomfortable?”, “Did someone ask you to keep a secret?”).

If the child becomes emotionally overwhelmed, give them time and let them continue when they are ready.

Avoid making promises you cannot keep (e.g. “I will not tell anyone”, “you will never see the abuser again”, etc.) and report the incident immediately to the nearest Police Station.